Drew,
Oh my gosh Brother,
I am so excited, I have made it thru boot camp and am headed to Florida for training. Boot camp was hard but not as hard as I thought it would be. I made it through with flying colors. I even made a good impression on my RDC ( Recruit Division Comander)
Monday, June 22, 2020
thinking about our purpose
Hey Bud!
So today I'm kind of having a rough time. I have been struggling with what my purpose in life is right now. I know that this stupid Covid-19 has everyone that can staying home and only essential workers leaving their homes. I get that but, I have been thinking for awhile about what I want to do with my life.
I have a degree that I am not using which means I am $ 35,000 in debt for basically no reason. I know that I can be a sub and make $500 a week before taxes but I just don't know if I even want to do that anymore. I want something that I love to do and want to do not just a job.
I also know that my purpose right now is to raise your nieces and nephew to that best of my ability. I am trying my hardest to do that and so far I think I'm doing a pretty good job. I know you say that I am an amazing mom and wife, but you have to your my brother.
I just don't feel like I am contributing very much and I know that I am because if I wasn't home with the babies and the girls then someone else would be taking care of them but sometimes I just feel like I am going no where in life.
I say this because I sit and watch and see that Michael has his career now and he enjoys what he does every day. Great! I love taking care of my kids, but at the same time I do not see what I am going to be doing after that. I also see how people look at me as a stay at home mom who doesn't have a career. Or when he mentions being a sub I just hear all the voices in my head going "oh your just a sub"
So today I'm kind of having a rough time. I have been struggling with what my purpose in life is right now. I know that this stupid Covid-19 has everyone that can staying home and only essential workers leaving their homes. I get that but, I have been thinking for awhile about what I want to do with my life.
I have a degree that I am not using which means I am $ 35,000 in debt for basically no reason. I know that I can be a sub and make $500 a week before taxes but I just don't know if I even want to do that anymore. I want something that I love to do and want to do not just a job.
I also know that my purpose right now is to raise your nieces and nephew to that best of my ability. I am trying my hardest to do that and so far I think I'm doing a pretty good job. I know you say that I am an amazing mom and wife, but you have to your my brother.
I just don't feel like I am contributing very much and I know that I am because if I wasn't home with the babies and the girls then someone else would be taking care of them but sometimes I just feel like I am going no where in life.
I say this because I sit and watch and see that Michael has his career now and he enjoys what he does every day. Great! I love taking care of my kids, but at the same time I do not see what I am going to be doing after that. I also see how people look at me as a stay at home mom who doesn't have a career. Or when he mentions being a sub I just hear all the voices in my head going "oh your just a sub"
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